


The Vow Au {Wincest}

by Violet_R_Winchester



Category: Supernatural, Wincest - Fandom
Genre: Community: wincestbigbang, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Couple, Sam Winchester is Called Samuel, Wincest - Freeform, Wincest Love Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2019-11-02 01:42:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17878691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet_R_Winchester/pseuds/Violet_R_Winchester
Summary: Imagine 7 Years Of your life disappearing out of nowhereImagine 7 years of marriage going out the windowImagine 7 years of living the normal life without hunting go out the windowImagine forgetting, that you married the love your life, because of a stupid accident





	1. Chapter 1

Why did they have to argue?

Why did he have to yell?

Why did he have to snap at him?

The argument was so stupid it could've been prevented if they just sat down and talked it out but no apparently that didn't exist for the Winchester's 

They were both to stubborn

It led to Dean storming out of there shared house driving baby order to blow off steam and calm down, Dean didn't know he was driving fast, faster then he used to when they used to hunt, it's been so long since the boys driven baby and she was still full 

All because of one bad argument, they ended up here…….

Dean in a hospital bed…… fighting for his life in surgery 

As Sam sat in the waiting room looking down towards the floor his palms on both sides of his head as tears just overlayed his sunflower eyes rim of red circled around his eyes 

His face was bloated from all the crying he did hours ago 

His heart was beating in sorrow 

Everything hurt, he had a headache memories just swarmed his mind

The good 

The bad

The bitter sweet 

He remembers feeling numb all over when he got the call 

|•|•|•| 

“Hello, is this Mr.Winchester?” A unknown voice spoke making the hairs on the back of Sam neck stand 

Something was wrong

“Yes, who's this?” 

“My name is Justin Ragen, I'm a paramedic”

Sam eyes widen, he cleared his throat “what's seems to be the problem?”

“Are you familiar with a man named Dean Winchester's we found you in his emergency contacts”

“Y-Yes” he breathed

“I hate to say this Mr.Winchester but he was in a car accident a truck hit him”

Sam could feel his heart drop 

his body shaking 

A truck hit him………

Not again…….

•|•|•|•|•

“Please……, please be okay Dean please” Sam whispered to nobody but himself 

“I'm sorry……, I'm so sorry baby” he continued everything around him sounding as if it was under water, nurses rushing 24/7 just to help a patient's, patients that are injured or dying 

Can Dean not be the one that's dying………

NO! stop thinking like that Samuel

Dean has gone through worse, he's been through worse, he been through things that should have been killed him but didn't

Dean is a strong man, if he made it through all those times he could definitely survive this crash…….

Sigh

He has to…….

Sam elbows laid on his leg, looking down at his ring on his left hand

because if he doesn't Sam doesn't know what he'd do without his brother his lover 

 

His husband.


	2. Nurse/Sorry

Sam was past out sleeping in the waiting room laying on the seats that he was originally sitting up in Dean old rusty leather jacket covering his upper body

Doctors and nurses kept on with their jobs, helping people and saving them

It was similar to what the Winchesters did but without the killing and getting your ass kicked in the process how fun

It sucked but it was also alright

Well used to be alright

They don't hunt no more

Not after Dean went to purgatory and met a vampire named Benny

Or when Sam ended doing the trails causing the angels to fall from the sky

Of course the boys fixed it but lost Kevin in the process…….

Angels are dicks

Sam winches at the images that played in his head, the images stopped when a nurse silently wakes him up not to scare the ever loving shit outta him

Sam groans “Mr.Winchester?” The nurse spoke her voice soft as silk and sweet like candy, Sam carefully opens his eyes only to meet with beautiful dark green eyes

The girl had beautiful blonde locks of platinum and a few brown highlights working from the roots to her curly edges, her skin was fair but she was clearly Latina mixed with something else, her face was covered in freckles but she was clearly wearing makeup to hide them so they were only on her cheeks at the moment. She seemed sweet but also familiar but Sam didn't feel like asking instead he asked about Dean

“Well right now he's sleeping I didn't want to wake you cause you looked peaceful and you definitely were exhausted but I just wanted to let you know” she said sweetly, smiling softly the dimples in her cheeks showing a little

Sam just nodded smiling back slightly slowly sitting up his bones cracking making the younger girl grimes

“Sorry” Sam mumbled rubbing his left eye trying to get the sleep out of it

“it's not a problem I should be used to it by now since y'know” she gestured to the scenery around her

Sam smile became a bit bigger nodding his head “yeah” his voice was hoarse 

 

“Anyway I must get back to work it's time for the patience to eat and take there vidals” The girl got up from her crouching passion her knees cracking

“Would you like anything?”

Sam shook his head “No thank you, just want to see my br--husband” Sam corrected after years of lovers the old habits of calling one another brothers when they were injured was still there

“Alright honey, if want anything just holler, your husband is in room C6 11” Sam nodded in response getting up holding Dean jacket he silently thanked the small nurse who seemed to be 5 foot tall, Sam and the nurse went their separate way. Sam walked down the hallway counting down the door numbers stopping when he gets to Dean's, he lets out a soft breath of air walking into the the room opening the door in the process, Dean looked like shit, absolute shit. Sam heart twist by how his brother looked

Sam slowly walked inside the door silently closing behind him as he walked to the side of his husband bed where he laid unconscious

Sam lips formed into a thin line his Hazel Green eyes on his brother

Dean heartbeat was calm and slow like nothing was wrong but something was wrong, everything was wrong. Dean was in a hospital bed once again fighting, fighting for his life fighting for Sammy, tubes we're coming out if his mouth those tubes held oxygen, IVs were in his arms a case on one of em

Sam lets out a deep breath glancing around the room

His gaze landing on Dean's x-rays, His arm was broken his leg as well his ribs cracked from the impact

Sam tensed up next looking at Dean ct scan, by the looks of it he suffered severe trauma to his head and brain, that was never good

Just looking at these images Sam felt horrible more horrible than he did before, why did they have to argue?, They shouldn't have argued because if they didn't, Dean wouldn't be in this room knocked out and probably hooked on morphine

Sam ran his fingers through his long locks of brown hair sighing “shit”

 

Sam looks over to his brother plus husband carefully walking as if Dean would wake up if he walked to loud

Sam grabbed a chair pulling it next to Dean sitting in it watching his brother rest not even five minutes has passed and Sam eyes were filling with tears “I'm sorry…..” he whispered “I'm so sorry…..” he repeated tears threatening to fall from his eyes but he didn't allow them

He had to be strong

Be strong for Dean

Be strong for  **_them_ **


	3. Brothers

He watched as he slept, the poor boy looked worn out as if he didn't get any sleep at all

 

His heart hurt at the thought of him suffering, he looked younger and it was fascinating, he never knew how that was even possible but it was sweet it was soothing, it set comfort in the pit of his stomach

 

And he was grateful for it

 

The hunter ran his fingers through his brother hair enjoying the softness to it, it felt like fluffy clouds in his fingertips, it was oddly relaxing

 

He enjoyed it

 

The sigh he let out was a sign of relief, he missed this, he missed him

 

Every bone in his body hurt but he didn't care he just wanted to watch over his brother just like how he's done for him

 

“Okay Mr.Winchester the doctor said that your hu--” a voice was talking causing him to look up only to see a young girl with beautiful long blonde locks of hair going over her shoulder, brown working from the roots down to her curls, he skin was fair

 

She was looking down at her clipboard that didn't let the Winchester see her face but when she noticed someone sitting up she looked up towards them letting him catch her beautiful dark green eyes and freckled face, her face was adorable even her expression. It held shock but a spark of happiness was in her eyes

 

And he didn't understand why but he just shakes it off, there's a beautiful young women standing in front of him and he isn't even making a move, who would he be if he didn't?

 

“Hey gorgeous you seem pretty happy to see me awake” 

 

The nurse didn't seem fazed by his attempt instead she just smiled but it was friendly, it wasn't like those waitresses back when they hunted, how they swooned over that million dollar smile those enchanting green eyes 

 

Everything, everything about him 

 

“I'm happy because you finally woken after 3 weeks the doctors honestly thought you were going to be unconscious longer” the sweet nurse noted 

 

“Well nothing keep Dean Winchester down for that long”

 

“Now aren't you a little confident of yourself” Dean nodded

 

“Yes Ms.--” Dean glanced at her ID that was clipped to her shirt pocket 

 

**_'Violet .P. Rodriguez’_ **

 

“Rodriguez” he finished “please called me Violet” 

 

“Alright,  _ Violet _ wh--” Dean was cut off by a small groan 

 

Sam

 

Both Violet and Dean look towards Sam who was slowly waking up his eyes immediately landing on Violet “hey puppy” she said softly “guess who's up” she barely whispered smiling sweetly

 

Sam eyes widen sitting up his back cracking looking towards Dean who was looking right back at him smiling, tears overwhelmed Sam eyes attacking his brother in a hug “Jesus Sammy it's nice to see you too” Dean chuckled as Sam moved away and cupping his husband cheeks “Hey baby brother” Dean said wholeheartedly catching Violet completely off guard her eyes widing, Sam had the same reaction

 

“What?, Why are ya looking at me like that”

…….

“Sam you look different”

 

Sam and Violet looked at one another then back and Dean

 

“Dean” Sam voice was shaky 

 

“How old do you think I am?” 

 

Dean looked at him confused “29?” 

 

Sam looked at Violet nervous “I'll go get the doctor” she spoke leaving the room

 

“And I'm 33?”

 

Sam shook his head “no Dean…., Your not” Dean looked at his brother “what years Dean?”

 

“2011?” 

 

“2019”

 

“What but-- Jo she was”

 

“Your 40 years old Dean and I'm 36, we live, well we lived in a bunker for the men of letters then after a couple of years we…...left” Sam rambled Dean just kept staring “Dean…..”

 

“Hm?”

 

“What are we?”

 

“Wha?--”

 

“WHAT!-- What are we Dean……”

 

“Brothers”

 

“And?”

 

“Just brothers, we'll always be just  **_brothers_ ** Sammy?”


	4. Amisha

This couldn't be happening this had to be a sick joke a joke that he came up when he woke up right, No dean isn't that much if an ass if it was a joke he would never sink that low to trick his little brother….. Right? 

 

Sam glanced back at Dean through the window seeing his brother looking right back at him as the younger male paced back and forward outside the older one room, he was freaking out Dean didn't remember…. He doesn't remember anything, anything that they've been through over the last seven years he doesn't remember 

 

He doesn't remember them…..

 

Sam ran his fingers through his hair letting out a deep frustrated sigh, his heart ached his brain was in pain by all the thoughts circling it Sam was so lost in his mind that he couldn't hear the nurse calling his name “Samuel” she finally said causing Sam to look down at her, she was tiny…… “sorry i was….”, “its fine its a normal reaction, for any love, one”. Sam was quiet “he has amiga” Sam sighed, of course, he does “how can i help him remember?” Violet sighed “he has to remember himself, I'm sorry Mr.Winchester but if you try to remind him his brain will not follow and the process will be slower for him and his mind so you just gotta be patient with him” Violet spoke professionally, Sam could still hear the care in it. That's something Sam likes about her she wasn't just a normal nurse she didn't act all professional or hide her emotions she showed them pretty well.

 

“The Doctors were thinking of keeping your husband overnight just to be safe” Sam sighed running his fingers through his hair, he could feel Dean's eyes on him but he just ignored them “Alright……” 

 

“And Sam” Sam hummed in response 

 

“Go Home you need to sleep” 


	5. Patients

Sam numbly laid in bed staring up at the grey unhappy ceiling, the room was quiet to quiet for the young Winchester liking, he was tired his body hurt and his mind was clouded 

 

A quiet sigh left his lips he was supposed to pick Dean up from the hospital today but he couldn't bring himself to get up and out of bed, Dean didn't remember what they were how deep their relationship was now all it took was for a stupid truck to hit him, a truck took him once nearly killed him and now here they are again Dean laying in a hospital bed and Sam half fine, Sam has prayed to Castiel for help, for him to give Dean back his memories but the angel never answered not even once 

 

The sound of the younger Winchester phone ringing pierced through his ears Sam wanted to ignore it, god did he want to ignore it but he couldn't

 

The younger male turned on his side grabbing his phone looking at the screen squinting a bit from the brightness  **'Nurse V'** Sam stared at the screen for a couple of seconds debating with himself, Sam took a deep breath accepting the call placing the phone against his ear, “Hello?” 

 

“Hey Sammy….” a gruff voice replied on the other side, Sam closed his eyes sighing “Dean, why  do you have Nurse Rodriguez phone?”, “if I called on my phone would you have answered?” the former hunter runs his fingers through his brown hair, he had a point Sam been dodging Deans calls ever since he woke up he had so many voicemails from the older male that it reminded him when he was back in Stanford, “I didn’t think so” Dean's voice said through the phone, Sam could already see the face his brother was making and he didn't like that face “why did you call Dean?”, “to check in on my pain in the ass little brother of course” Sam slightly smiled at the comment “thanks jerk……”, “no problem bitch” Dean chuckled "anything else?" Sam asked the male

 

"Yeah actually, I'm being let out if the hospital today I'm already dressed and--", " in bloody clothes?" Sam interrupted "No, your nurse friend actually bought me some" Sam raised his brows "hey I tried to tell her no but she insisted so I gave her my size for my shirt pants shoes, etc" Sam nodded as he listens to his brother "now all I have to do is wait for you to pick me up, I already signed myself out" 

 

Of course, he did……

 

"Sam" Dean voice echoed "yeah?", " you are gonna pick me up right?" The younger male bit the inside of his cheeks nodding even though Dean couldn't see him doing so. "Yeah, Yeah I'll pick you up" he ran his fingers through his brown hair "see you, Sam"

 

"Yeah…." 

 

After a couple of seconds, of sharing words the two finally hang up, Sam quickly got dress throwing on a thin sweater walking out the bunker the Impala keys in his hands, the Impala was fixed of course from the help of a couple of old friends the brothers had

 

Sam hops into baby the garage doors open driving through them as the doors shut behind him driving off to the hospital 

 

24 minutes have passed and Sam found himself parked in front of the hospital entrance debating to get out, he'll look like an ass for not picking up his brother then again he's already an ass since he ignored all his brother's calls, The young hunter just shook his head stepping out of the car walking through the hospital doors, he walked up to the front desk catching the ladies attention "how may I help you?", " I'm here to pick up Dean Winchester", "go right ahead" the lady kindly smiled "thanks" he walked towards Deans room stopping at the doorway the older male was Standing by the window his gaze looking out through it "For a hospital, it has a nice view of the river" it always amazed Sam how Dean knew he was present, Dean looks over towards his baby brother a smile tugging at his lips "Hiya Sammy" he chuckled walking over to Sam, Sam meeting him halfway, Dean pulls his brother into a tight hug Sam automatically hugging back slightly smiling when really he wanted to cry. A couple of seconds passed the duo let one another go looking at each other "bitch", " jerk…."

 

The look in Dean's eyes was different but yet still the same as well, Dean wasn't looking at sam as if he was his lover anymore. He was looking at Sam like a brother just with more love…. It hurt Sam, but he couldn't do anything, not right now

 

This was gonna be hard especially for the man who knows the relationship they have, how far they gone how deeply in love he is with Dean….

 

Patients….. just gotta be patient


	6. Chapter 6

The car ride was awkward, at least for Sam, Dean insisted on driving but Sam declined the images of Dean getting hit by that truck playing in his head when the older man asked 

 

The two didn't talk, mostly since Sam didn't want to talk and Dean could see that, he wanted to talk to his brother he wanted to ask him why he didn't answer his phone when he called why he looked like he was in pain when Dean woke up and answered his question 

 

_ 'Just brothers, we'll always be just brothers Sammy'  _

 

That look, that looks Sam made when Dean said that

 

Pain, anger, Sadness, and heartbreak.

 

Dean didn't understand, he didn't understand why Sam made that face it's not like Dean shot the guy so why would he make that damn face? It hurt Dean it hurt when Sam looked at him like that

 

As if he disappointed him

 

The two remind quiet, Dean snuck side glances at Sam watching him, his shoulders were tense his posture straight 

 

He was uncomfortable and nervous, why would he be nervous? 

 

Dean opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Sam's phone ringing, Dean's eyes landed on the phone that vibrated against the dashboard of the car. He shoots his brother a quick glance grabbing the phone before Sam could. Sam let out a deep huff like he was annoyed with his brother 

 

Dean looked at the caller ID

 

**_Nurse V_ **

 

Dean raised a brow before answering putting the phone up to his ear "Hello, Dean Winchester speaking", "oh, hey Dean! I thought this was Sam's number?"

 

Dean slightly smiled "it is, I just picked it up for him like a good brother he's driving at the moment "

 

"Oh okay, I just called to ask if Doctor Christian gave you your medication" Dean glanced in the rearview mirror where his medicine bag sat "yes ma'am" he answered in his soldier's voice, making Sam almost crack a smile "Alright remember you take each pill once a day, take 2 for your headaches, 1 for pain and the liquid do your bones to make them strong again, in other words, no working out till your bones are better mister" the nurse spoke her tone completely serious

 

"Is it the red liquid?" 

 

"Yes" 

 

"Awe man…. That shit is disgusting!" Violet rolled her eyes at Deans smiling a bit "man up cause you're taking it, so deal with it" Dean huffed 

 

"When your medicine finish come back to the hospital to get your new description" Dean hummed in response, the two continued to speak as Sam tuned his brother out his eyes completely focused on the road 

 

After a couple of minutes, Dean finally hung up the phone setting it right back on the dashboard going quiet once more 

 

An hour later Sam pulls up to a house 

 

Blue roof white walls, a porch bench in the front and of course a white picket fence 

 

Dean stares out the window at the house his brows narrowing "um Sammy, I think we're at the wrong place this isn't a motel" Sam grabbed his phone taking off his seatbelt "were at the right place" he replied cutting off the engine leaving the vigil Dean watching 

 

He looked back outside to the house watching sam walk up the path

 

This was a joke right? There's no way this is the right place, Dean grabbed his pills from the back seat of the car getting out running up to Sam "Sammy!" He shouted causing Sam to stop at the foot of the stairs looking at him not meeting his eyes "what?" Dean stopped running staring at his brother 

 

"What is this place?"

 

**"It's our home, Dean"**


	7. His Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam And Dean Return from the hospital where Dean finds out that Sam and himself live in a house

Dean stood there, silent and not moving a muscle questioning how the hell they were able to afford a house like this?. 

 

He stared at Sam back an unreadable expression on his face, losing himself in the many thoughts and questions that ran through his head, opening and closing his mouth trying to speak when nothing came out. Before Dean realized what was going on he completely zoned out, thinking, trying to piece together how Sam and himself, live in a house like this a very nice house at that

 

Green grass, white stares, big house 

 

Blinking a couple of times Dean was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of his brother voice "what?" he said his tone kinda harsh looking directly at Sam this time 

 

"I said come inside, your gonna get soaked"

 

The older Winchester gave Sam a confused look flinching at feeling of something wet hitting against his nose, glancing up at the once clear sky, now covered in blankets of grey

 

Dean looked back Sam who was giving him look

 

It was best if Dean obeyed 'cause he knew that look it was a look he used to give little Sammy all the time, Dean stride towards the steps stopping in front of them when he reached them giving Sam an uneasy look "are you sure this is our home?" Sam just nodded, Dean look at the house again then looking back at Sam "I swear if this is some sick joke I will punch you"  Sam rolled his eyes in response taking out a keychain from his pocket opening the front door with a silver key pushing it inward 

 

Dean's eyes slightly widened, this seriously had to be a joke… then again how does Sam?-- 

 

"I'm too tired to question this shit…." the shorter male mumbled to himself finally allowing himself to walk up the short flight of stairs, flinching at the sound of thunder he looked over his shoulder watching as rain poured down

 

Yeah he's still too tired to question it

 

Turning his attention back into the house and through the door frame, he noticed how big the inside was the floor was covered in dark oak wood, clean oak wood at that 

 

Carefully taking a step inside he glanced around almost afraid that he might break something 

 

"Dean?" Sam called out, Dean looked forward as Sam came into view

 

Wearing a grey V neck shirt and navy blue sweatpants walking around barefooted 

 

Sam notice how uneasy Dean looked as if he was afraid that he might break something or mess something up or as if he was dreaming and he didn't want to wake up

 

"Its real Dean…" Dean eyes seem to soften when Sam said that "come on you look exhausted, go to bed" Sam said walking over to Dean taking his medication bag walking away from him going to a flight of stairs, Sam stopped walking looking over to Dean "you coming?" Dean brows went up nodding his head closing the door behind him walking to where Sam was following once he started to walk up a flight of stairs walking through a hallway with many doors

 

Dean continued to glance around, everything new to him but familiar as well, Dean kept walking his eyes everywhere else but in front of him, his body crashing into something hard making him grunt closing his eye

 

"You okay De?" Dean opened his eyes again looking up his green eyes meeting hazel, the two continued to stare at one another neither removing themselves from the other brother 

 

Dean body seemed to tremble under Sam's gaze, Dean wanted to respond but couldn't

 

The two kept staring, about a minute passed when Sam finally turned his gaze away from his older brother catching Dean by surprise making him blink a couple of time turning his head away from Sam

 

Sam opened a door "here you go" he said quietly earning Dean's attention once more, Dean fixed his gaze on the room

 

His green orbs slightly widening, the room was big with four wall the walls were painted in brown the floor was covered in white carpet the right side of the room had a dresser with a lamp on top of it, the other side has a desk, a chair and a computer, in the center of the room there was a queen sized bed with blue sheets 

 

"Is this?--", "mhmm a bedroom a real one that doesn't have mysterious stains" Dean grimaced the images of the many motel rooms they stayed in appearing in his head "god please don't remind me, there was always a 75% chance those shits had AIDS on them"

 

Sam couldn't stop the laugh that came out his mouth, he immediately placed his hand over his mouth to stop himself but it was to late Dean heard it and he was smiling he grinned at Sam "what? its true!" Sam shook his head removing his hand chuckling

 

"Dude just… go to bed and take your meds" Sam chuckled patting Deans shoulder handing him his bag

 

Sam walked out the door frame "night Dean, see you in the morning!" Sam called

 

"Wait Sam!" Dean called out his brother walking down the hall coming to a stop, looking at Dean "yeah?"

 

"Where do you sleep?" He asked, Sam smiled a bit "just down the hall…." 

 

Dean seemed happy with Sam answer "alright night Sam"

 

"Night Dean" 

 

Dean walked inside 'his room' shutting the door behind him placing his bag of meds on the nightstand that was by his bed plopping himself on the soft mattress taking of his new boots that the nurse was nice enough to buy him 

 

Little did the older Winchester know, Sam wasn't sleeping in 'his room' that was down the hall there wasn't another room there was only one

 

And it was the one where Dean was sleeping tonight and many other nights it was their room 

 

Sam was down stairs, laying on the couch a pillow under his head and a blanket draped over his body listening to the sound of pouring rain and thinking how hard this is going to be for him.


	8. Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet brother moment

* * *

When the younger Winchester woke up the next morning on the couch he was confused for a moment thinking him and Dean had an argument but when the memories of the past couple days invaded his brain he wished it was just an argument and everything else was just one big bad dream, sadly it wasn't.

 

Pushing himself up Sam moved his messy hair out of his face groaning wondering if he should get up and face the day or stay on the couch and mope about Dean not remembering what they were 

 

.

.

.

.

 

Sam eyes widen

 

Shit DEAN!, Dean doesn't know that Sam slept on the couch or the fact that Sam lied to him that he had a room down the hall from the older male quickly getting up he grabbed the white blanket he used to cover himself quickly folding it walking to the closet near the stairs opening the oak door placing the blanket on the top shelf making sure nothing on the shelf falls, letting out a deep breath he shut the door walking over to the couch fixing it making it appear as if nobody was on it at all which he learned how to do from experience

 

……

 

Don't ask

 

The tall brunette makes his way to the kitchen figuring to start making coffee, knowing Dean that's what he wants as soon as he opens his eyes, Sam couldn't help but let out an exhausted sigh rubbing his eyes just thinking of Dean in general hurt the younger male 

 

Why couldn't it be him? Why exactly did it have to be Dean?, He's been through it before he nearly lost Dean before. He may have not lost Dean physically but he lost him mentally, maybe if they weren't advanced like they were if the relationship wasn't more serious, then maybe it wouldn't be bothering him too much 

 

What was he saying? Even if they were still just  _ brother's _ Sam would still be feeling like complete and utter shit, He watched as the coffee started to percolate after putting in the water and coffee grinds in 

 

One thing both Winchester can say is that they both enjoy the smell of fresh coffee in the morning

 

Pretty sure everyone does (Of course if you enjoy coffee if you're a tea person then awesome 😁)  

 

After 5 minutes the coffee was done, grabbing a mug for Dean and himself, he poured about the same amount in each placing the filter back in its place carefully grabbing Dean's cup quietly making his way to 'Dean's room' 

 

Sam carefully opened the door when he got there, "Dean?" Sam spoke softly seeing the older male sitting up in bed his hair messy and sticking towards all different directions, "morning" Sam spoke again this time Dean giving him his attention. Sam held the cup out to his brother as he got closer to him Dean took the cup with no problem taking a couple of sips from it pulling it away from his lips "shits hot…."

 

"Nobody told you to drink it as soon as I give it to you"

 

Dean rolled his eyes "bitch"

 

"Jerk" 

 

The two slightly smiled at one another sharing a comforting silence drinking their coffee in peace, for once everything felt normal in that moment it even made Sam a little happy

 

After about 10 minutes the boys finished up their drinks having a small conversation on what happened for the past 7 years Sam of course leaving out the fact that they were a couple for the past 7 years and married like Violet said, he has to be patient

 

So he was, even if it sucked

 

Sam left out the major stuff not trying to hurt his brother brain, "So I befriended a vampire?" Sam nodded

 

"Doesn't sound like me," Dean grumbled making a face at the thought "isn't that usually your thing?" Sam rolled his y chuckling "shut up jerk" 

 

"Make me" Dean bit back chuckling

 

Sam raised his brows thinking back to the last time Dean said that, he did he really did Dean couldn't speak for a week Sam snorted laughing to himself showing off his dimples, Dean gave the man a confused look "what did you even think of that made you laugh?" Sam just kept laughing shaking his head "nothin, don't worry about it" Dean gave Sam a sceptical look deciding not to question it any further if Sam was smiling and laughing and frankly he didn't want it to stop

 

Dean  _ doesn't want to know _ what his brother was thinking

 

That's all Sam has to say.

* * *

 


	9. Painful Breakfast

After hours of speaking and going over what happened for the past 7 years Dean and Sam parted ways, Sam cooking breakfast for the both of them as Dean was taking a shower enjoying the hot water, Sam mind started to drift as he cooked thinking of the times Dean would make him leave the kitchen before he burned the whole house down 

 

‘ _ Why cant I cook you always cook’ Sam pouted crossing his arms glaring at Dean _

 

_ ‘Sammy trust me I love you but… your not really that good of a cook’ Sam jaw dropped ‘rude i don't want to hear later you saying that I don't do anything when i’m the one who cleans your underwear’ the brunette huffed turning away Dean chuckled “Hey, Hey!” he called grabbing Sam arm pulling him towards himself lightly tapping his brother chin telling him to look at him, “I was just fucking with you, you know I love whatever you give me and you have gotten better with making toast and pancakes” Dean teased making Sam want to pull away rolling his eyes. Dean broke out in a fit of laughter the corner of his eyes crinkling grabbing a hold of Sam’s waist “stop! I’m still messing with you” he chuckled, Sam looked away trying to stay mad at the man he loves but bites his lip smiling showing his dimples and laugh lines, “there it is!” Dean cheered smiling more “dude shut up and you say i’m a chick” Sam laughed pushing Dean away the brothers continued to laugh _

 

_ Dean took a hold on Sam’s wrist pulling him towards his body bringing his lips against Sam’s the kiss was soft and loving pulling away after a minute resting their foreheads together “I love you….” Sam smiles "I love you too…." Sam kisses Dean's lips again grinning till a smell hit him "is something burning?" Dean's eyes widen and Sam grinned more opening his mouth to speak  _

 

_ "Shut up, not a word"  _

 

A soft smile touched Sam features at the memory missing it, it felt like forever ago

 

Shaking his head he finished up breakfast before he could burn it, after 5 minutes of setting up cups plates and utensils, Sam made sure everything was in place taking a seat on a stool eating his pancakes and drinking juice hearing footsteps coming from behind him "wow it actually smells good, surprised you didn't burn the place down Sammy" Dean chuckled walking up behind him ruffling his brother hair Sam swatting his hand away getting a laugh from his brother, Dean sat across from Sam immediately eating

 

'Glade some things haven't changed' a small voice in the back of Sam's head said 

 

Sam slightly smiled agreeing with the voice even if it didn't stop the ache in his heart

 

Lost in thought once more it was Dean who brought him back by lightly pulling on a piece of Sam's hair softly "Sam"

 

"Hm?" 

 

"You okay there bud? Cause I've been trying to get your attention for the past minutes" Sam immediately shook his head pushing the thoughts to the back of his head 

 

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine… what were you saying?" 

 

"I was saying do you wanna go out?" Sam brows drew together squinting his eyes a bit "Go out as in?"

 

"Hang out, you know brotherly bonding?"

 

Well that was a stab to Sam's heart

 

Sam just gave Dean a slight smile suddenly very interested in his breakfast eating 

 

"So… how about it?" Dean said stuffing his face 

 

Sam glanced at Dean seeing the look in his eyes, hope the same look he saw back when Dean was down on one knee proposing to the younger sibling 

 

Swallowing his food down, Sam gave in sighing 

 

"Alright" Dean smiled with his cheeks full getting a small smile from Sam "dork" he mumbled shaking his head "finish your breakfast take your pills and get ready so we can go, alright?"

 

Dean groaned at the thought of taking his pills his throat always felt weird after taking them 

 

"Dean" Sam gave him the look 'Don't argue with me on this'

 

The older Hunter rolled his eyes giving in "Fine" he scoffed finishing up his breakfast "I swear you act like a worried wife" he grumbled walking out the kitchen up the stairs, Sam stayed silent when he walked away drinking from his cup 

 

This was gonna be a lot more difficult than he thought….


	10. Drinks

When Dean said he wanted to hang out, Sam didn't think too much about it he kinda wish he did because he forgot Deans definition his  _ old definition  _ of hanging out was go to a bar and get drunk while picking up chicks  

 

Was Dean doing it yet? no not yet but Sam knew he'd start soon "Dean why couldn't we just hangout by walking around or drive baby around?" the brunette questioned looking at his brother that was drinking his 3rd shot,  _ 'it's too early to get drunk _ ' Sam couldn't help but think as he just watched Dean kill his liver more, smacking the cup down onto to counter Dean opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted when a beautiful woman with dark brown hair and hazel eyes sat next to Dean, Dean forgetting completely about what he was about to say he faced his attention to the gorgeous women beside him flashing his beautiful smile at her turning on the Winchester charm. Sam rolled his eyes finally deciding to drink his shot that has been in front of him for the past 10 minutes downing it when started with his old pick up lines some familiar to him some possibly new somehow 

 

Sam wanted to die right then and there, but couldn't instead he felt nauseous drumming his fingers against the counter, listening and not listening to Dean and to the unknown women conversation, whatever the hell Dean was saying she seemed to be  eating it up giggling like a teenage girl who's crush walked by. Sam knew if he sat there any longer he might actually end up hurting the girl and Sam doesn't hit or lay a hand on women even the thought bothered him, like why would you hurt them if you claim to love them? Sam's not in love with the women but that's how he thought even if he did really wanna hurt her, the way she was looking at Dean as if she was undressing him with her eyes, damn did it make Sam's blood boil, and the fact that Dean was still flirting was hurting him and killing him making him more and more upset

 

Ordering a beer Sam got off the stool fast nearly making it fall mumbling a small 'Sorry' walking away, letting out a deep sigh when he reached a table far in the back of the bar still keeping an eye on Dean and the girl biting his fingernails out of stress a popular Winchester habit that both brothers had Sam desperately wanted the floor to eat him he wished he just stayed on that damn couch and he seriously wished he didn't agree to go out with Dean

 

Because right now, Dean doesn't know that he's cheating on Sam right in his face Dean doesn't know that he's killing Sam with not remembering what the hell they were, all he knew was that he was in an accident and that he was alive without some memories, Sam desperately wanted to go up to Dean and kiss him right on the lips in front of that girl showing her who Dean was with who Dean actually loves and cares about, but he didn't he just sat there to what Sam thinks, like a coward. Why couldn't he be straight forward like Dean sometimes? Dean done it many times when Sam was struggling to tell a nice guy who would flirt with him that he was  **already** taken by somebody Dean would come to his rescue wrapping one arm around Sam's shoulder kissing the side of Sam's head giving the other guy a fake friendly smile and ask 'whos your friend Sammy' with a deadly look the other guy would catch on to, Sam closed his fist hard feeling himself want to scream tears overwhelming his eyes getting lost for a moment or two the sound of something shattering snapping him back to reality, looking down at his other hand gold like liquid dripping from it

 

He broke his beer bottle

 

Silently cursing to himself he slowly opened his hand to see glass shards in them Sam huffed feeling his brothers eyes on him getting up from his chair, placing a ten on the table ignoring Dean when he called out to him leaving the bar knowing exactly where he's going

 

After two hours of walking Sam was standing in front of a desk resting his now bloody hand on top of it, fear on the women's face when she saw it 

 

"Hi I'm looking for Nurse V?" 


	11. It never forgets...

Sam let out a soft hiss whenever the blonde nurse would take out a new piece of glass from the Winchester hand with tweezers “quit being a wimp be a big boy” she teased making Sam smile “sorry… trust me i've been through worse, you would think I would be used to things like this by now” he lightly chuckled “you look like you've been through alot” Violet responded focusing on Sam's hand “then again all hunters do” Sam eyes slightly widen looking up at the green eyed women to see a small smile playing on her lips 

 

“How-- but-- what?” 

 

Violet chuckled at Sam’s expression “the Winchester’s are Legends you guys are practically heros you two disspeared two years ago, others thought you two were either dead or in hiding but really it's neither, you two finally just simply got out of the job bought a house and started living the normal life, you went back to school and Dean went off working as an engineer building houses and tearing them down and works as a mechanic on the side just to help you pay for your classes” Sam just looked at her in pure shock as she took the final piece of glass out his hand disinfecting it wrapping it in a white bandage, after a moment Sam forced himself to speak “How did you… sorry but are you psychic? A hunter or?....”

 

“Just a simple ol’ werewolf trying to live her life in peace without hunters trying to kill me even though i've never killed an innocent soul in my life, i've hunted before trying to do some good in the world”

 

“How old?--”

 

“8 years old, I was an orphan since I was 4 my mother was killed in front of me, I'm a special bread, many consider me a hybrid, a freak of nature by others but I don't let that get to me, at least not anymore I was considered a freak even in school you know how cruel kids could be. I was that one quiet kid nobody even bothered to get to know all because I didn't speak people thought I was a freak, I would get into fist fights because of it"

 

".... I know this is gonna be immature of me asking this but…. Who won?" The beautiful blonde lightly laughed 

 

"Me obviously, had a couple of bruises on my face as well but it wasn't as bad as it was on them," she grinned Sam grinned as well

 

"So they learned not to mess with you?" 

 

Violet shrugged putting away the tweezers and bandages in there respective places "I guess you could say that but I still got into fights…" 

 

"How come?"

 

"I had to protect Stiles and Scott from freaking Jackson he was a real asshole in every grade, Scott had asthma and Stiles was just fragile but he uses pure sarcasm as his defense it's honestly hilarious" 

 

Sam smiled watching Violet as she gracefully did her job putting things where their supposed to be and setting up things that should be in the room, Sam couldn't help but think that she looked oddly familiar to him something about her eyes and freckles caught his sunflower eyes. She was beautiful smart sweet and just trying to live her life just like Sam and Dean were, She was wearing a pink nurses outfit today and she honestly looked cute her curly blonde hair went perfect with it 

 

"So why are you here y'know besides your bleeding hand" she ask looking at her clipboard writing down information Sam guessed 

 

Sam cast his eyes away from the small women now looking out the window "When….. I….." Sam went quite trying to find the right words

 

"Sam…" Violet spoke softly grabbing Sam's attention again, leaning against the counter her eyes held concern "what's wrong?" 

 

Letting out a shaky breath his shoulders slumped "I don't think I could do this…." Violet tilt her head setting the pen down "do what?."

 

"This, the whole Dean not remembering shit, me being patient me waiting till he gets his memories back me being in constant pain because my husband doesn't remember me or what we used to be he just thinks we're brothers again and only brothers when we're not I love him and I just want my Dean, maybe if we didn't take that step maybe I wouldn't always be in pain I won't have this heavy feeling in my chest I wouldn't care if he was talking to some pretty girl at a bar I wouldn't care about the flirting the longing looks the smirk the Damn--"

 

"Sam!" Violet shouted her hand on Sam's wrist lightly gripping it Sam didn't notice that he was gripping the bed bleeding staining the bandages 

 

"I'm…."

 

"It's okay… Sam listen, what your going through? Is what other loved ones are going through, that has been through what you're going through right now, every single one reacting the way you are. I never said this would be easy and I wish I could say that but I can't because that'd be lying and there are no maybes you understand me?" 

 

"But…"

 

"Do you regret marrying him?"

 

"No… but.."

 

"Do you regret loving him sharing every innocent thing about you with him?" 

 

"No…" 

 

"So stop with the maybe shit, you don't think Dean is mentally fighting himself at the moment? Fighting to remember? Fighting to get every beautiful memory back that you both have shared?" 

 

"But…"

 

"Stop it, no buts the only but you should be thinking about is yours because I'm about to kick it if you don't quit the shit. Listen Dean, doesn't remember what you two are up here" she said pressing her index finger against her temple "but down here…" she breathed tapping the left side of Sam's chest "he remembers, your heart never lies and it never forgets…." 

 

Sam looked at her with sad eyes she gave him the same look 

 

"Don't give up Sam 'cause he's right there, trying to reach out to you again, to hold you again…"


	12. Shell of the man I used to Know...

The last two hours were a blur for the brunette, getting lost in every new conversation with the dirty blonde haired girl every chance he got. He kept the conversation going, one because he didn't want to go home and face Dean just to see him with a random girl and two he actually wanted to get to know Violet better

 

The more he got to know her, the more he realized that she resembles Dean a bit, from the eyes to the freckles and the way she speaks and acts, the way her shoulders tense as if the weight of the world was resting on them, her eyes held pain and sadness but there was a spark of hope still in them, happiness even. Sam couldn't help but feel pride for the girl after telling him about her past. He was actually proud of her for not giving up and throwing her life away

 

"Alright Mr time to go" she said out of the blue checking her watch, Sam tilt his head to the side Hazel eyes softening 

 

Violet looked at the expression on Sam's face laughing a bit "I mean my shift is over Sam I get off early on Thursday" she clarified the smile on her features never dying, Sam mouth formed into an 'o' shape nodding his head understanding "alright I'll talk to you later?" 

 

Thinking a bit Violet nodded "yeah sure, tell me how it goes with Dean" Sam smiled at her "alright, have a good day Ms.Rodriguez", "Thanks Mr.Winchester make sure Dean takes his medication"

 

Sam gave her a salute walking out the room his nerves already kicking in, Sam didn't really want to face Dean he didn't want to return home and possibly see that brunette girl with him just thinking about it made Sam’s heartache he didn't want to return to a Dean who didn't remember what they were he didn't want a Dean that just saw them as brothers he wanted the Dean that proposed to him, was a nervous wreck when he was planning the wedding. Stumbling over his vow and captivated by how Sam looked in his white tux that fateful day, a blushing mess when they went on their honeymoon when Sam whispered something so sweet that it could rot your teeth, the Dean he would see staring at him when he opens his eyes first thing in the morning and he would whisper  _ ‘beautiful’ _

 

He wanted that Dean back, but he knew that it would take time 

 

Sam glanced at his phone to see it was one in the afternoon so he walked out on Dean for four hours counting the time he walked to the hospital, talking to Violet and if it gonna take him another two hours to get home it'll be three by the time he gets there, Sammy shook his head suddenly feeling exhausted he couldn't do this and he didn't know how much longer he could

 

Returning home in exactly two hours Sam opened the door not getting the chance to release his feet from the shoes that suffocated them, his back met the wall letting out a deep grunt his hazel eyes meeting with angry green ones “De--”, “Where the hell were you” Dean growled, Sam hated that sound especially if Dean was using it towards him. Don't get him wrong its a sexy sound Sam just hate it for the simple fact that Dean is using it in an angry gesture “what?”

 

“Where. The. hell. Were. you?” Dean asked again his eyes glaring into Sam’s soul

 

Sam held his hand up showing the bandage that was wrapped around his hand "I was at the hospital, mind letting me go?" Sam asked, his tone cold as he lightly shoved Dean away from him walking to the kitchen "Why?" Dean said not so far from Sam, Sam rolled his eyes "I shattered my beer bottle, why do you care? Shouldn't you be with that brunette bitch at the bar?" Sam voice dripped with venom as he spoke opening the fridge when he entered the kitchen grabbing a bottle of orange juice 

 

"No, because I was worried about my baby brother that I left her there" Sam rolls his eyes again shutting the door opening the container bringing it to his lips taking a couple of sips bringing it back down looking at Dean "well as you can see I'm fine" he snapped lightly walking pass Dean who grabbed Sam by his arm, Sam yanking it away looking at Dean "your not fine, you haven't been fine since I got back hell since I've woken up!" Dean scolded his brother giving him a hard look "drop it Dean!" Sam snapped Dean stepped closer to Sammy glaring up at him "No, I won't! why are you walking on eggshells around me! Huh? what did I do to you?"

 

"YOU ALMOST DIED ON ME DEAN! THATS WHAT YOU DID TO ME!" 

 

"AS YOU CAN SEE IM NOT DEAD SAMUEL!" Dean yelled back not realizing how close their faces were towards one another both boys stared tensely in one another's eyes noses barley brushing together lips inches apart, heavily breathing

 

"Yes you are…. 'cause the Dean I know is gone you're just what he used to be…" 

 

Dean looked at his brother stun watching as Sam walked away, his feet glued to the floor and heart heavy in his chest.


	13. Horrid Dreams

Sam hasn't spoken to Dean in over a week now, each day the taller male looked completely drained and done with life each and everyday he looked more and more tired the circles under his eyes becoming darker and more noticeable, Dean started to become more worried each day for his baby brother wanting to see that sweet smile he'd give when Dean would make the most stupidest joke, he barely comes home now coming back very early in the morning around 1 or 2 

 

Which helped Dean understand how Sam felt when they were younger how John and himself would come home late and little Sammy would be sleeping on the couch showing that he's been waiting for sometime leading to Dean to carrying the small boy to bed silently apologizing to the kid, a deep sigh came from the older male running his fingers through his bed head lying on the couch staring at the cable clock trying his best to fight back the overwhelming desire to sleep tears stung his eyes, he didn't understand why or what Sam meant that day “but I'm still the same Dean you know Sammy…” he whispered quietly, baby was gone to whenever Sam would go out 

 

His heart was heavy in his chest seeing the angry sad broken look on Sam's face that day and when he woke up,  why wasn't he allowed to worry about Sam? Of course Sam always had a problem with Dean worrying about since he was a grown man but he never had this much of a problem with it. Why did he care if Dean was with some random girl? Sam would get annoyed that's pretty much it… why did he care so much? Squinting his eyes Dean started to think harder drawing a blank each time, he would give himself a headache but he didnt care he just wanted to figure out desperately what was going on him ‘ _ come on you stupid fucking brain work!!’  _ Dean was generally getting frustrated, frustrated with himself frustrated that he can't seem to understand his baby brother or see whats going through his head 

 

The fact that he couldn't remember what Sam seems to want him to remember was killing him, bothering him to the point he would have an outburst his eyelids were heavy sleep trying to drag him in deeper, closing his eyes a hazy image appeared in his mind before he was met with darkness. A ring a silver ring not the one that belonged to his mother no… it was different

 

Not knowing what the image met Dean couldn't help but quietly say  _ 'I'm sorry' _   as his mind sunk deeper into the darkness hearing nothing at all his body light as a feather 

 

_ The argument was hectic voices booming throughout the house the sound of something colliding with the wall breaking, the weaker voice becoming louder, words that have never been said were spoken new emotions surfaced adding fuel to the fire that was already bad  _

 

_ " _ **_IF YOU DIDN'T WANT ME THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE BURNED ON THE CEILING WITH HER!_ ** _ "  _

 

Dean shot up cold sweats overlaying his body his green eyes wide hand over his heart tears going down his cheeks "what. the fuck. was. that. .."


	14. Break

Last night's dream kept playing in Deans head, coffee in his hand dark circles under his eyes red rimmed the outline of his green eyes his complexion pale, why would he dream something like that? Was that him? It sounded like him, would he really say something that harsh? He wondered...

 

Did he yell that at Sammy? Dean's eyes widen with fear “fuck…” he whispered letting go of the hot cup of coffee the tears were back, fear overwhelmed his eyes, there was no way that was real it was just a dream, just a very fucked up dream he would never say that to Sam… he loved his baby brother to much to say that to him “your not that much of an ass… you cant be that much of a cold hearted bastared” he said to himself feeling sick to his stomach, Dean scrubbed his face with his free hand not allowing the tears to fall 

 

“It was just a dream Dean you would never say that to him…” his voice cracked, why was this hurting him so much? Why did it feel like his heart was breaking when he thought about it? His brain started to hurt rubbing the side of his temple, he was breaking and he didn't understand why, regret and guilt filled his heart he wish he understood why

 

Dean wasn’t stupid but he wanted to act stupid for the simple reason that, that dream was 70% real and happened but stubborness was blocking his veiw of the possiblity 

 

‘ _ It should've been you that burned on the ceiling that night not her…’ _

 

_ ‘You don't mean that... _ ’

 

“I didnt…” he said brokenly feeling his body shake 

 

_ ‘You two will always find your way back to one another, your Winchesters you'll get through it _ ’ an image of a girl with red hair appeared in his head 

 

Another image appeared or her dead in a motel bathtub, his breath hitched ‘ _ Charlie… _ ’

 

“Charlie…” he said in a whisper 

 

His head started to pound wanting to desperately scream in agony but couldn't "I would never hurt you, I would never say that, I can't be that cold" he kept going running his fingers through his bed head 

 

The voice in his head kept getting louder, the words getting louder becoming more frustrated taking the cup in his hand once again throwing it again the wall the glass shattering "Shut up!" He screamed he punched himself in the head repeatedly wanting the images to stop tears running down his face "Why does it hurt so much, why does everything hurt so fucking much I can't fucking do this!" He broke into a sob falling to his knees "it hurts, fuck sake please make it stop hurting make this headache go away Please! Stop these images from playing in my head!!" New thoughts old thoughts ran through the man's head his heart aching 

 

_ 'Denial is a bitch isn't Dean? Let it happen sweetheart this is the only way that you'll remember _ '

 

Dean shook his head "no, no no I don't want to if I said that to Sammy I don't want to remember!" He shouted hearing his own heartbeat in his ears a thousand different thoughts, memories running through his mind 

 

"Stop, please stop…" he breathed his tears burning his cheeks, Dean's body felt as if it was getting lighter not even a minute passed and he met with darkness.


End file.
